Bridesmaids dresses!!! Blah! I absolutely cringe just thinking of the bloody things. Dowdy, ill-fitting, complexion fighting, unwearable, itchy dresses. WHY??? At one point I thought that being asked to be a bridesmaid, just meant that the bride thought you a less attractive friend who would not pose any threats of upstaging. What they didn't realise was that I only ever noticed what hideous garments draped the poor souls who were too polite to decline the role of ugly stepsister bridesmaid.
Emma H. (who was my honourary maid-of-honour, stylist, and coordinator of the wedding coordinator), is going through her duties as maid-of-honour as we speak in Trinidad, and luckily for her she gets to choose her own dress. And yes, there are lovely cookie-cutter type dresses, but sometimes that is just not enough.

Last year the number of Save the Dates and Invitations I received, which ultimately ended up in the recycling bin, were overwhelming. It made me think, sheessshh how will I manage to pull off three Save the Dates and Invitations in a cost-effective and ethical manner? I actually had no idea, until August of last year when our friend and Visuals Director, Emma J. showed us a music video she did for one of her clients. Amazing!!The light bulbs went off: Hey, can you do a Save the Date video for us? 

So, with her fancy camera, and us in tow, we roamed around London (mostly Borough Market, one of our fav places, and by the River Thames) and shot our official Save-the-Date within an hour. This was easy to do, and although I cannot share this video all you have to do is go on YouTube and you'll see the many clever ways people have used video as their official Save-the-Date. Of course it is cost effective if you have a friend who is skilled enough to do this.

For our invitations to all three locations, we decided to make (YES, MAKE) our own, with some help of course. For the Italian invitations, I sourced a green printer for the actual invitation, and then used Moo.com to make our supplementary insert (basically postcards on recycled paper). These came up to 20 of each component. As the Fiance's aunt makes all of our greeting cards, she handmade the UK invitations on recycled paper. For the US, I decided on electronic invites from Paperlesspost.com which were very effective as most of the people attending the US event lived outside of the state and the country. 

There are so many options for Ethical and Green Wedding Invitations that there is really no excuse not to choose this option. Of course, paperless is the best way to go, which I did not do, but I did compromise and used green printers where I could. Hopefully this has given some of you a few ideas for your own wedding.

As I stand with my legs spread wide apart, with rivulets of sweat migrating from my hind quarters to the floor of the glamorous Bargain Barn in Hughesville, MD, I realize that this is my rock bottom. My travels have lead my friend Rachel and me to this sweltering, dusty, rotted-out establishment in the middle of nowhere in search of glittering, sparkling, and glimmering treasures that I will ultimately transform into a one-of-a-kind heirloom.

The process of brooch hunting began about a month after I got engaged.  I had seen plenty of brooch bouquets on Pinterest and other DIY websites, and I was determined to create one for my wedding day.  I began recruiting everyone I knew - friends, parents and grandparents of friends, students, their families, etc. - to pick up any brooches they saw on sale for less than $5 apiece (pretty difficult for vintage, but not impossible).  My friends and their relatives really pulled through, and soon I had around 30 vintage brooches from yard sales, flea markets, eBay, and a particularly sentimental batch from a childhood friend’s grandmother with whom I had been very close.  When the brooch leads seemed to start drying up, I expanded my search to rings, and then when that went south I hit the jackpot: clip-on earrings.  Since almost no one wears them anymore, but grandmothers (and abuelas and yia yias) and their offspring have been unloading them at second hand stores in droves. 

Why did I choose the brooch bouquet?  Because I absolutely hate flowers!  Sometimes I can break into hives just being in the same room with them.  And I take issue with the mortality of flowers and their lack of usefulness when they ultimately expire (read Sor Juana Ines de la Cruz “A una rosa” and you will get the gist of my feelings). 

As the seemingly insurmountable amount of planning for my wedding is prominently in full gear, my dear friend Alex L. decided to help me out by giving an account of her beautiful Greek Orthodox Wedding, to which I attended in Washington DC. It was enchanting and, most importantly, inspiring with some rather thoughtful ethical elements which she was able to incorporate in more ways than one. What follows is an introduction to Alex L.'s wedding and her "ethical shortcuts"

Obviously I am not as cool as Stacy H. when it comes to planning an ethical wedding.  I will have to plead ignorance, since I only heard of all of Stacy H.’s incredible plans a month before my own nuptials.  However, I think it is important to note that there were many things I did manage to do under the guise of being _____ (fill in the blank here: cheap, creative, crafty, funky, etc.) that I believe many people can embrace and incorporate into their own wedding plans without having to agonize over details or feel like they have to let their wedding completely take over their life.  Because let’s be honest with ourselves, your wedding WILL take over your life no matter what your intentions are at the beginning. Therefore, what follows are my ethical shortcuts to my wedding, which are simple and easy to incorporate into your own special day.
 

In my introduction to this series, I expressed my initial apprehensions towards having an ethical wedding. However, once I thought about it I realised that an 'ethical' wedding would be a reflection of the way the fiancé and I try to engage with the world everyday. So really, this challenge, should be like planning any other wedding: you have your set criteria for what you want it to be, then find those things that fit within that criteria, or compromise.

Now that I have announced it to my family and closest friends, Emma H. I thought it fit to start blogging about Weddings, especially my confusing journey through wedding planning from an ethical standpoint. To be honest, I didn't want to take on the challenge at first. It seemed over-complicated and tiresome to be searching for vendors who belonged to such a niche market. Then I started planning, and realised that weddings, in general, can be a pain in the you-know-what. So I took Emma H. up on her challenge to put on an ethical wedding, and document the triumphs, downfalls, and revelations.

So why have an ethical wedding and what is it anyways? 
Firstly, I am having an ethical wedding, not a hipster one. Some of you may ask what's the difference, but I'd rather not get into the latter in this post. When looking up for a proper definition, I found links to green weddings and 'eco'-weddings, which placed an emphasis on the environment. Instead, I am approaching this wedding from a social point-of-view. This is not to say that I won't be taking into consideration the environmental benefits, but my goal is have a wedding that incorporates the following (and this list will expand once my definition becomes more refined):

• supporting local, independent vendors;
• the use of fairtrade and ecologically sustainable produce and materials wherever possible;
• reducing waste by budgeting and monitoring consumption;
• keeping the wedding as much of a part of us as possible--that means making the wedding a reflection of us as opposed to a wedding that puts the guests as the priority;
• advice from the experts;
• making things, and get into the spirit of it all; and
• avoiding anything with negative social and environmental impacts.

What can you expect?
For one, you can expect an honest account of all the steps I take to put this wedding together. And yes, if there is any faltering on my part, it will be noted: from dressmakers and sustainably and ethically sourced materials to organic caterer. I'll also be covering wedding bands and engagement rings made from non-conflict gems, fairmined and fairtrade gold, and venues.

Next Posts: Ethical Proposals & Engagement Rings...